विचार / लेख

Cliches of bollywood movies
06-Aug-2022 10:31 AM
Cliches of bollywood movies

Sainik Chaubey

1. The guy is important if the camera pans to his black leather shoe before the face is revealed. 

2. Movie ghosts have amazing powers but they tend to play defensively at the start of the innings by using harmless strokes like ‘खिड़की/दरवाज़ा बंद करना’, छोटी मोटी क्रॉकरी तोड़ना, ‘आईने में दिखना फिर छुप के troll करना’ इत्यादि. They move on to the really dangerous powers like murdering and आत्मा transplants at the end of the innings, which is usually too late. 

3. When a person is declared dead but his dead body isn’t shown, मैं मानता ही नहीं। खाई से गिर के, समुद्र में डूबने से, भयानक आग में फँसने भर से थोड़ी मरते हैं। 

4. If a sport is being shown in the movie, it has to go on till the last ball, last minute, 100%. It is never like the 2003 World Cup Final (I still have PTSD). 

5. Clearly, villains do not recruit their गुर्गेs on the basis of shooting skills. It doesn’t matter if they use burst fire or sniper, they will miss the protagonist all the time. 

6. सारे Mr. Singhanias और Mr. Oberois अपनी दोस्ती को रिश्तेदारी में बदलते हैं. 

7.  Blood banks in movies are useless, they are always out of stock. After all, जो मज़ा तेज बारिश में खून ढूँढने जाने में है वो normally लेने में कहाँ है। 

8. Movie courts don’t work according to CPC, CrPC or any other law. Decisions are purely based on circumstantial evidences followed by emotional speeches. 

9. Have you ever seen a movie जिसमें realistic शादी दिखाई है? I mean, we see are shown one big dance, followed by फेरा, वरमाला or both. मुझे देखनी है वो stage में चढ़ने वाली लम्बी लाइन, वो awkward फ़ोटोग्राफ़, एक लिफ़ाफ़ा पद्यति और गुलाबजामुन और पनीर का mixed random taste. 

10. Who was that fake foreigner guy who came to sell guns and grenades to every villain? He could never get ease in doing business. 

11. Wonder who came up with that ठोकियोकी sound for the revolver?

12. In Airport climax scenes, CISF people are shown in very bad light. To address this, an amendment needs to be made in the law. Like a provisio (परंतुक) - not withstanding the above, acts which endanger the security of the airport and (or) delay flights deliberately, shall still be ignored if done for the purpose of stopping your romantic interest or for any other purpose as may be prescribed by Directors from time to time. 

13. Has anyone ever encashed these so called blank cheques the heroine’s father hands out. By the way, हर चेक भी एक लिमिट तो लिखी ही होती है so I guess its just a troll. 

14. I really don’t think the police says क़ानून के हाथ बहुत लंबे होते हैं or you are under arrest to every person they nab. 

15. Whats up with rich people waking up to ‘Orange Juice’?


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